Past Blogs

foreword - first one is hard to read because i never proof read it, where as i did the rest, try and get through it, or most of the rest you won't understand





Saturday, November 18, 2006


yo ma mates! - that just how bored i am mate i was planning in witing this how thing i gangster but can't be arsed too
i know no ones going to read this so i can't be bothered with spelling or grammer also it's 3am and i don't really care ! and i no i've put a bullenten out about it so if you got this far please read! but i'm couting on no one getting this far by the way!
well i'm so bored and just not sleepy, i think i've become over tried! my hands are cold as well ! i also think i'm hungry but not sure i was going to make my self something to eat but can't be bothered to.
no ones online! and you all should have raydar that tells you when i'm a wake and to come online - but we all no why your not online unlike normal people, it's because you all have to get up for work in the morning (sad) you shouldn't be at work you should all be online entertaining me!
well as you may have gessed, or as i may have said i can't remember - I'm SO!!! bored ! i've got nothing to do now or today - ( well the real today day after 9 am ) i have a plan to go and see people at work but i have planed this so meny times before and not carried it out!!
i'll more then likely stay at home and watch movies - i'm thinking about have a kevin smith-o-thon and i think pagans the only one who will understand why this is good and for all of you how don't no why it's good you should DIE! only joking but if your not dead after reading this your on speed or something and will die anyways well we'll all die but you'll die sooner or unless your on of those people who drinks,smokes and does drung but still out lives everyone but you won't no that till the rest of us die or intill you die first or inless your a zombie that can take out everyday fuctions like the zombies in the new dawn of the dead not the old one thats shit! well not saying the new ones good! just saying it's better i mean in both of them there stupied WHY LEAVE ! the shopping center i mean you have everything you need, well i gess in the old one the have to leave because the bikers turn up and let the zombies in so i'll let them off, but in the new one they let the zombies in but trying to help that andy bloke i no he had gun's but your in a god dam shoping center i mean even if you use up all of the good stuff like power tools you could just go to the early learning center and use safety scissors - they can't cut papper they just bend it but you could use it to kill a zombie but aways your in a shopping center your SAFE! and then the stupied girl who runs after her dog and in the short story because of her only 4-5 people live and it happens shes one of the ones to live! once they got on the boat i would have killed her anyways for being so twatish ! anyways back to my main point in the new one they can run so if it's taken them 30 something years to run thing what they can do after 60 year or for that matter just think after 360 year of zombie familys they will be super i bet they'll learn to fly think about that flying superzombies but they have a really stupied weekness i mean decapation ! really, but after about 360 year you think they would evolve to stop it killing them right now your telling me your not just a bit worryed about super - flying- unkillable zombies! because i am it's just no on that stupid girl putting the whole world at risk of super-flying - unkillable- zombies
i might start taking PRO- PLUS it seems to be a good way to stay awake, in the chirstmas holidays i'm going to see how long i can go with out sleep
did you no if your to watch all 6 star wars movies (i love star wars , star wars rocks!) it would take you over 25 hours i find that a useful fact. i mean it never comes up in any quizes but it might !
i finaly downloaded the song from tokyo drift ! i had it suck in my head since we watched it! you want to know what i'm singing now? - andys dad's song ! we should really record it but first of all we need to get a last line for it,
oh yer for you who don't no andy has a girly friend - but we don't have to worry there not enganing in any unwanted phyical contact! and jenna's going out with some one's whos not a emo! but we don't no about his speed yet!
LOL i was just thinking about being a gangster today it was quite funny i gess even when my leg got cold ! and i got jenna ma julie!
well i think i've not shut up for a bit now so i'm going to give up and try to get some sleep now hoping i'm not going to dream about stupied super-flying-zombies !
¬!TOM!¬






Saturday, November 18, 2006
You all suck!!!!! For the people reading this you must be as bored as I am!
well after my last post and I got a bit carried away about Super-Flying-unkillable- Zombies it got me thinking some more now I've come to the theory of the whole horror movie culture is base upon Super-Flying-Unkillable-Zombies think about jeepers creepers there's that wired flying thing - Super-Flying-Unkillable- Zombies the Texas chang saw massacre you never really got a good look at his face – because it's a symbolic image for Super-Flying-Unkillable- Zombies I mean this blokes clearly not the sportiest of people yet he can out run the 20 year old girl and also what's with killing the bloke in the wheelchair I mean come on tip him over and he'll be stuck but that's something in this film dawn of the dead didn't have the stupid people who's fault it is die I mean why go in to the well kept house that's next to the fallen down upinhimated house ! Logic! And you boyfriend doesn't return so what do you do? You go in as well right there's only 2 people left the stupid person whose fault it is and is hot younger sister (or what ever she was !) so rather then just not going looking for the clearly dead people at night take the wheelchair bloke off of the path and on to a lot of hills !!!!! The wheel chair bloke dies so you run SCREAMING!!!! WHY it's dark and you're being chased by a 40 year old bloke just hide in a bush!!!! But no you run to the house! And then your court! then some how she gets free again the 40 year old bloke who could get her in the dark now can't catch her up when it's light see now that makes me believe have Super-Flying-Unkillable- Zombies now have a weakness now they don't die by deception they die by sun light ! So that would make then Super-Flying-Unkillable-vampire-Zombies and all because the stupid girl who went after her dog in dawn of the dead!


















Wednesday, November 22, 2006

THE BITCH AT TESCO EXPRESS SHORT CHANGED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I’m not to happy as you guessed to bitch at Tesco’s short changed me!


Write being a good little boy (like the twat with fish lips out of Amityville horror I mean how shit was the story of that film! I mean even if it’s based on a true story I would never sell it since it would just prove how boring and poor I am, since we all no the opening is where to bloke kill the his family but that’s just because he was a psycho, but then you get ugly fish lips family who try to copycat the craziness of it all! Well I hated this film that much ‘m glade the ugly kid dog dies. How did this boy get any work to start off with but no only getting this film he got in Poseidon as well but only to wonder off and almost kill his mother but that’s ok she still goes after him if not she’d have social services on there case and it’s just not worth it. If I’m ever on a boat I’d kill the kid to start of with… oh no I just can’t seem to get his head above water never mind carry on… see no one need no you kill him ! And also what a bad remake they’ve not even kept the same people in the story. Well I guess they’ve done this in other film but still manage to get away with it like in a nightmare on elm. Street same poor little girl who ends up bringing back a fuck burnt up paedophile but then the 2nd one is a bit shit everyone who lived near and around the house died so what do you do MOVE IN!!!!!!! But only for you son to bring back the dead 4 time already paedophile killer! but the girl from the first one (who died came back in the 3rd one ) now I think she must have teamed up with the Super-Flying-Unkillable- vampire - Zombies so she could come back but not realising Freddy was really a Super-Flying-Unkillable- vampire- Zombies just a bit burnt so really there Super-Flying-Unkillable- fire retardant-vampire-Zombies at can also come and kill you in your dreams so now we cleared that up you have to watch out for -

Super-Flying-Unkillable- fire retardant-vampire-Zombies

Well anyways back to the bitch that short changed me!

She didn’t give me my well earned 50p……… bitch!











Friday, November 24, 2006

Ohh My God James Bond !!!


Oh my god James bond is so shit I guess the film was ok and I was getting in to it and by the end I was really hyped up was waiting for him to get the money and what the fuck happened?

I’ll tell you There Was no Ending!!!!! this is so shit because my sister – (the hobbit) said it was really good and this coming for the only person in the world who didn’t no lord of the rings was in three parts and was waiting for the end to happen but it cut out so since then she’s never watched the other 2 so you would think she would have felt to same about this

I feel I have a right to be mad and you have no idea how pissed I was that it just ended,

like a day before seeing it I was ranting on about how I hate film that just end. Like I understand lord of the rings it’s 3 books you’re meant to read one after another but they also did it with POTC 2 no warning! Just cut it!

Now tomorrow I’m going to buy the James bond book this was badly based upon to read it and if the book ends like that does I might start letting up on it but if the book ends like MOST!!! Other books I’m going to be even more pissed and may even think about writing to Vue, who ever make the film and anyone else who might listen! And tell them how much it pissed people off and maybe they should think about warning us people about the how it ends! Well I don’t mean to telling you the end of the film because you get sad people who won’t go and see it if they no the ending, and I would have been fine about this ending if someone/something had warned my they should put a warning up about maybe something saying –

WARNING THIS FILM DOESN’T HAVE A REAL ENDING AND SINCE WE NEED THE MONEY WE’ER NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU THE ENDING IN TILL YOU PAY TO SEE ANOTHER 2 FILMS – or words to that effect!

Well I’m off to start my letter and while I’m on it I might mention the da Vinci code! I mean when I saw the film I hadn’t read to book so I didn’t no it was meant to be symbolic and shit, but I hadn’t read any of the Harry potters when the films came out but still managed to walk out of the cinema without my blood presser dangerously! See if I had a heart attack I could have sue them!!!!! And be a millionaire! Then I could have been like Ritchie rich! what a good film I haven’t seen it in years but I could have a rollercoaster in my garden well I would have to buy all the houses around my house so I could fit it in – do you think Portsmouth city counsel would give me planning permission I mean I would have like a coupon day – (anyone who like Jurassic park as much as I do would work out that’s a quote)

I love Jurassic park it’s one of the best films ever but I don’t understand what happed to the 2nd one it’s a bit shit but in my opinion most 2nd ones in trilogies or more are a bit shit like nightmare on elm street 2 bad 1st ok she dies in the end 2nd BAD !!! not even based on the same people 3rd one the DEAD !!! girl from the 1st one comes back, Friday the 13th 1st ok mother coming back and killing every one to avenge her retarded sons death but then in the 2nd one the dead for 20 odd years retarded son comes back ! ? and but the 7th some how gets super-magical powers – almost as super as Super-Flying-Unkillable- fire retardant-vampire-Zombies so really with Jason now proved to be one of them there more like

Super-Flying-Unkillable- fire retardant- magic-vampire-Zombies

I was also really pissed with James bond the car wasn’t a big deal and there were not a lot on gadgets

Halloween – mike Myers just a psycho killer for the sake of it but the 2nd one is shit

Did you no there making angels and demons – (the book – a crappy spin off of the da Vinci code) there making that in to a film but after being so pissed off with the da Vinci code I read the book then my dad gave me another book (I think it’s called) the holy blood and the holy grail – which was printed before the da Vinci code but there both very simpler and if you haven’t worked out what I’m trying to say is that Dan Brown is a fake!!!!! And copied his book from another person and I may not be smart but isn’t that plagiarism!!!!

But if you think about it plagiarism if what the whole film industry is based upon if out seven we wouldn’t have saw – with out 1980’s horror we wouldn’t have 1990’s horror with out scream we’d never have scary movie.

One movie I could live with out is the new James bond

We’ll as I had already said ages ago I’m off so hope you enjoyed

Talk later

















Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Writers block !!!!!!

I have now come to the theory I have writers block ( ha ha I all most put writers bloke so just to warn you It may come up so please try to understand what I’m saying )

Anyways after several attempts to write a blog, make a new film I just can’t think of anything good and I don’t know why, and believe me I have come up with some crap it just seems to be I can’t drift off (orff) and make my blog good to read, so like my sister I might have to become a – Bloger (cries) and start writing about my day don’t you just hate people like that who think you really care what they have been up to I think that people should wake up and work out no one wants to hear or read what they did to day –

He is now my template of a twaty Bloger –

I woke up 5 minutes late how cool am I!
I brought fags and got I.D-ed how funny that because I’m the only person in the world that gets I.D-ed (what you don’t know is they don’t id you because you look young it’s because you look like the type of slag that would buy fags underage)

I went to work and some one made a fart joke it was so funny ……….. ha ha ha you really had to be there (what they don’t realise is that if I was there it would only be to jump out of the window)
Then after LMAF (twaty short hand) at work all day I went home and I don’t know what the fuck is going on in this house but as of yesterday i came home to find that someone has eaten all our chicken, and our curly fries (great diet by the way) and put their crap in the fridge and also used all the shower gel (oh no now my hair won’t look all shinny and smell like peaches), now even if all our stuff is mega cheap, that’s not the point, we cant afford this shit.......(because I bet you’re a student being bohemian and ‘rebelling’ from mummy and daddy-dearest and living in ………(wait for it)…………… Southsea!!)

Now that is a twat blog who write that type of shit and once the have written it they wonder why a blog like mine gets more the 2 hits when there only hits are them going on to see if they have hit and then they’ll leave a comment about it, IT IS YOU OWN FUCKING BLOG DON’T WRITE COMMENTS ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But don’t worry I forget your so hip mummy and daddy come on to check how your dad was so you’ll have one hit that’s not you.

Guess what I want to tell you about this gig I went to but can’t really because of what I’ve just said so once everyone forgotten about this blog I’ll add a COMMENT (not really) I’ll write a new blog telling about it!

Well I’ve just thought of another thing to tell you but I just can’t seem to start it off with out sounding like the twats I hate so I’m going to send it here and add a new one later tonight when I rule doesn’t apply and I can tell you about the crap I’ve done
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Superhero issues


I'm so ill I really don't feel to well I all I want t do is to go to Asda to buy the stupid new superman movie I mean come on can't you think of a better name then superman returns and superman what a stupid name just goes to show all the people in metropolis suck in the creativeness field if you ever want a name for a superhero don't go there they'll just call him flying man or something shit at lest batman and Spiderman have a link the there name and really I think batman has better powers then superman because even though batman has no 'real powers' batman seems to do more all that Superman does is save the world from more stupid people who where locked in a square ! and half the time it's Lois fault that the world was in trouble and at lest batman has had some better leading ladies than who ever that fuck plays Lois lane, I mean Kim Basinger, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone
Also batman has had some of the best villains unlike superman with the old balding twat and Spiderman - a guy in a green suit and I bloke with fake arms but see in the green goblin can be a villain but still have no superpowers but then again many of the iconic villains, killers and bad guy tend to not have any super powers or start off with super power – Friday the 13th Jason starts off as a normal un-dead killer and but like the 10th one he has super hero powers so even that the green goblin has no meets the eye powers he was crazy which would be on of the signs for Super-Flying-Unkillable-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Zombies which would mean that the Super-Flying-Unkillable-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Zombies haven't just taken over the horror industry they also have taken superhero films from us see it's all starting to make sense they started off with taking the horror industry because they where starting to un-cover the truth behind Super-Flying-Unkillable-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Zombies. But think back superhero films started to un-cover it as well the joker – lived after that burning water or what ever it was and that just shows that he was fire retardant, Catwoman- Unkillable, superman 2 there the 3 villains – flying, the green goblin – magical, and there's so many more just goes to show that this conspiracy of Super-Flying-Unkillable-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Zombies goes further then horror!
How is it that Lex luthor can also be a villain but have no powers why Is it that batman can't be a superhero because he has no powers, If my theory is right that would mean that if batman turned bad he would make and great villain but is superman turns bad it will just make him corrupted?
See there is just no fairness in this world even that we're meant to be a multi something world people just can't accepted a rich man as a superhero but they don't mined him being a villain just because batman hasn't had a lucky toxic spider about or a batch of toxic waste thrown on him or that his parents didn't send him to a different planet to make him super- see superman got nothing but luck really if he was to have stayed on his crappy little planet he would be normal and just like everyone else but no this isn't good enough for his parents
It's like these parents who send the kids to privet school WHY? There Is no need the state schooling system is great me and all my friends went to a state school and we've turned out normal…….ish and do you really think you would find someone how went to privet school banging on about superman at 1pm on a Saturday no the would be out with mummy and daddy playing polo or going on a family bike ride but you no what I think-
A FAMILY THAT RIDES TOGETHER SHOULD DIE THOGETER
There is no need to be so clean and wholesome in this day and age I mean just in the last 12 hours I've said the word merkin over 20 times (ha ha ha Merkins not in the word dictionary)
So I think that hey should give a lesson on swearing in privet school just for the fun of it…………..
My hands are cold by the way I was watching Casing Amy last night and I still think it's a really shit film mallrats is the best Kevin smith film
Why do they still put songs of praise on the only people who watch it now are people who can't find the remote after watching 2 hours of Eastenders
Did you hear about the alternative queens speech on channel 4 that's going to be presents my a Muslim woman I mean come on we can now live in a world where not only the English can mock the queen but batman can't be classed as a superhero and just to let you no every time I've put superhero I've put superhore first and had to delete it. I wonder what a superhore would look like if any thing catwoman was almost a superhore, so was poison ivy and mean trying to sleep with batman and robin and I've just realised that superhore may not be the same thing super-whore so just so you no I was talking about super-whores – that just sounds like a really bad porn film, but no as bad as medieval porn with such tiles as 'the showing of leg - A Knights tale'
Anyways I'm off to watch superman returns and then I'll be back to tell you how shit it was!







Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Teenage Mutant hero turtles!!!!!!!! (aka TMHT – or for the twats among you – TMNT) -
What's the point of having an internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird fucked up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself this was going to be the tile to my blog but then I thought of the other one

Teenage Mutant hero turtles!!!!!!!! (aka TMHT – or for the twat among you – TMNT)

Woooo there making a new Teenage Mutant hero turtles film it look so cool but I have to say why can’t people come up with there own film ideas we need to Make sure that no one steals Super-Flying-Unkillable-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Zombies because all you have to do it mix in the TMHT and power rangers you got the best film ever –

Super-Mutant-Flying-Unkillable-Teenage-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Ranger-Zombies

I now feel the need to write the trailer to my new super cool film-

‘They came at a time when no one was watching’
(People looking up)
‘The world leaders claimed that we were safe’
(Police men walk by)
‘But how does one race stand up to another’
(Scenes of war)
When the race that they are fighting has been alive longer then they have
(Look at some dinosaurs)
(Upbeat-boncey-killing music kicks in)
Flash of words – ‘it’s now up to one race to work together to fight off another race
(Music gets better)
(Flashing of words – a race of)
(Big bang) –
‘A race of’
(Another big bang)
Super-Mutant-Flying-Unkillable-Teenage-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Ranger-Zombies


See oh-my-god super writing skills on my behalf I think It will be a super film a mean if I can make a great film up at 10.22pm why can’t people make there own films and stop killing others like –
Superman returns;

Batman begins – (and when fighting the batman will win corner this film doesn’t count);

TMHT – (TMNT)

Poseidon

Dawn of the dead

Texas chainsaw massacre – The Beginning

The omen

Catwoman

And another film they have remade also anything that they have added – beginning – returns- begins and vs. to – (I will not take in to concept that the vs. films are not just stole ideas and that people can’t make there own films and have to add a really crap impossible storyline and cheesy actors)

And the da Vinci code – I no I bang on about this film to much but I will not accept in my heart that that was a ending the same with James bond how can anyone call that a ending I mean come on he doesn’t even get the money if they had just left it before she died and killed her off on the next one it would have been ok but NO they had to go and anger me but just cutting it like POTC2 did! X-men are a good film because even that there’s 3 and at the beginning of the first one they knew they were making 3 they still end them! It’s not like they just end the first one that the statue of liberty – (spits) I mean that would make no since and the good people at x-men knew that but the twats at James bond didn’t or the twats that decide to make the da Vinci code have a symbolic ending !

Also the da Vinci code shouldn’t be a film anyways since the book was stolen for a better book called – the Holy Grail and the holy blood! But this goes to show when your at the height of your fame you can steal anything and get away with it ! so If I ever become famous I’m going to steal the book off him and re-release it and put my name on it name make mine but just so twat Dan brown doesn’t have it as his but while I’m there I might as well steal the Harry potter set – and change the name from Harry potter to Gemma Miller and in stead of dementors I’m have …… Super-Mutant-Flying-Unkillable-Teenage-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Ranger-Zombies see stealing isn’t wrong as long as you put in stupid changes! And as long as you rich at the time !

As I’m about to leave you I would also like to say that there making a Transformers film !!!!!!!

And the Harry potter trailer is out !
Saturday, January 06, 2007

I’m Back Bitches! So Long and So Blogless!


Right I don’t have much to tell you really!

I think we should start off on the last day of term when we spent the whole day playing monopoly! Fucking brilliant game – well in till some people got to angry.
But then I guess some games need violence and stuff think about it- frustration with out the hitting it would be call – slightly over taping- just not the same ring to it! Or battle royale with out the battle – royale – and you have to play with toy guns and shit! I have a dream about battle royale – well it was battle royale themed to tell you the truth it had little to do with it, it just reminded me of battle royale

I was in a office but the office was set out like an exam hall and we all have these numbers on the front of our desks and we we’re all panicking because the person at desk number one couldn’t be found and I was then told by the person behind me why we were all In a panic – well see at any random point we could just go missing but not in a random order it starts with 1 and works it way up – I was 47 and as the number grow to the late 30’s and was really panicking so I just except my fate when I begin the process of diapering I’m moved from the small little room with 50 small desk to a land a land of dirt and forest then I ran in to the person that was sat behind me – he said he had been there for days. But it was no longer then an hour ago I saw him disappear – does time move quicker there? As we’re walking he was telling me I was the first person he ran in to then it happened he was flung in to the air the only thing stopping him from hovering away was a tree but then I worked it out the tree wasn’t stopping him the tree was eating him as the blood slowly ran down the tree…… I woke up and never got to the end!

I think that would make a nice story – I might start to write it as a story I think it could be a big seller well look at the DA Vinci code that wasn’t even his own story and it’s make a shit load of money…… also In this day and age I don’t have to give it a real ending! just stop write and people will take it as an ending thinking there will be more but see that’s the plan because after about a year to 18 months people will forget that I ever wrote a book and there will be no demand for then ending but then in 30 years I hope all my friends that read my book will then think god my friend tom wrote a great book but the wanker never wrote the ending to it the you look me up on friends reunited and I have to write the ending so maybe it’s not a good plan

Oh my god I just thought what happens if I wasn’t a tree eating people (I would just like to take this time to say a cannibalise tree really is at the near top of my list of fears) anyway is wasn’t a tree it was a Super-Mutant-Flying-Unkillable-Teenage-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Ranger-Zombies in camouflage ! See it’s a conspiracy they now have teleportation device that take the innocence pencil pusher and turn them in to just mere meat! but I think at this point we have to ask our self’s the question why have I been chosen to uncover this world wide plan at SMFUTFRMVRZ or I think we need to ask our self – am I on crack and I just don’t know. Because no word of a lie that dream was real! And I was also in a night of dreams and in one I was back at my old school carrying a Dyson around. But then again if I think about all the events (apart from the man eating tree) can be tracked down to real life

The office – doing my placement

The numbers – maths course work

The teleportation – can be linked to the unhealthy amount of nightmare on elm street film I have been watching and how they travel from one world to another

But once again I’m just going to take my smart rare idea and replace with Super-Mutant-Flying-Unkillable-Teenage-Fire Retardant-Magical-Vampire-Ranger-Zombies that are taking over the horror industry and this can be proved by the fact that there re-making Halloween see a good SMFUTFRMVRZ cover up the 1st one was made around the time of the great SMFUTFRMVRZ uncovering plot so there going to remake but cut out all the SMFUTFRMVRZ related information. Since also I was watching scream a few days ago I got thinking and scream is the last warning attempted. Since scream was like a none funny piss take by taking clip-its from other films – they where not taking them because they can’t think of anything they were taking all SMFUTFRMVRZ related stuff. Putting it all together in a new format and releasing it as a last attempted at warning the world.
Or they just can’t think of the own ideas and decide to copy from others, just like the DA Vinci code for a 2nd rate film that I hate and a unimpressive book it hasn’t half left me with some deep routed issues.

Just like fucking James bond! Even to this day this day if the topic is brought up i very angry and my blood pressure rises!

But lets move on to happier things!

Die Hard 4

I can’t wait it’s going to be great with a good proper ending! but I hope it’s not as bad as 3 because that’s just like what the fuck why would the brother wait that long to come back surely he should have been in the 2nd one and not the 3rd but then again the 2nd one makes no sense why ? There’s really no need for the whole film just because of some bloke who’s going to be killed. but the 1st one is just supreme brilliance! And Alan Rickman rocks

Harry potter 5 the best book and it best be the best film or I will be writing a letter to some one! There also making the hobbit in to a film aren’t they
(Jenny – (my sister) they might cast you fingers crossed and feet shaved!)

POTS 3 I mean after the bad ending of the 2nd one they best be able to make it up with this one……

TIM BURTON is making Sweeny Todd with Johnny Depp! It’s going to be brilliant I’ve started to read the Tim Burton’s biography it’s really good and since it’s the first biography I’ve read I’m quite impressed

Ocean’s 13? What’s all this about there working with the baddy from the 1st 2. it makes no sense and if it’s anything like the 2nd one people aren’t going to go see It but I have a list of films I have to go see the day they come out and they are –
Transformers! – July 27th
Harry potter 5 – July 12th
Die hard 4 – July 6th
And
Rush hour 3 – sometime in September

Any ways I’m going to go because it’s 01.30 and I want and toasted sandwich

Speaking of toasted sandwiches in the end, our relationship was just like a sandwich toaster. You know, you just forget you've got one. And it just sits there on the top of the cupboard collecting a layer of greasy fudge. And even if you do see it you just assume it's broken, you think if it's working I'd be using it all the time, but you don't and it just sits there. Then one day, you get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches, you know? And you get it down and it works, and you can't believe it, you know? And then you make every kind of toasted sandwich there is, you have toasted sandwich parties. You make Marmite and cheese, chocolate and Acorns. And then as quickly as the desire comes, it just goes. And then you put the toaster sandwich maker away.























Friday, March 09, 2007


Death, murder, relationships and tom!

My Short Story that’s clearly going to be an insult to grammar and writing styles so if you class under the following FUCK OFF! –

• You’ll be upset by my clearly movie like writing style
• You own more books then films
• You don’t have a imagination
• Next time you see me you’ll comment on this in a bad way!
• Or if you and your family ride bikes together - but thats because I just feel my writing is just to good for you!

Under the dark of night and hidden from the light of day we open our seen on a black room within and nice house, within
That black room is a EMO!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Just so you no that had nothing to do with my story I just thought I would do a bit of emo bashing – in a none sexual way. I mean only emo’s can do emo’s no one else could deal with the general upset and sex tears – (not because there bad It was clearly just so good there emotional circle inverted on it’s self so from sad to happy and dropped back round to unhappy !

Isn’t coffee great I mean since I’ve been drinking coffee not really been sleepy but after watching monsters inc the other day I did cry like a little bitch with a skinned knee, how can you not be upset by that film it’s one of the most upsetting films in the world I can’t even talk about it with out want to paint my room black get a 2000’s mullet and becoming an emo!

I think emo hair should now be called a 2000’s mullet and just so you no this doesn’t class mullety Emma, since she’s clearly all Business in the front and party in the back!

Oh my god I’m not on crack I swear I think your on crack and your just thinking this is real! You crack whore you! (I’m on a mission to so if you can use the world you to much, what do you think? I don’t really thing you’ll pick up on it if I hadn’t had said anything would you>?)
You do no that I’m not real see I’m to perfect for all of you which means I’ve been built up of the fun bits of people that they don’t like showing. There’s a film like this and for the love of good I can’t fucking remember it!

I’m guessing that most of you have been to vue lately so you would have see to big TMNT – (it’s hero but what ever) why did they change it from hero it can’t be to be more pc because ninja makes them sound like Japanese which to me is a bit mean linking mutants to ninja’s but then again the Japanese have done a lot like battle royale your telling me that it’s no base upon a true story.

Am I the only person that whilst watching battle royale planed what they would do if it happened to them, My general thing would be to kill myself at the start but then I’m also guessing I’m not the only person that made a list of people they wouldn’t mind killing and put it in order from most to lest

Fight Club that’s the move I couldn’t remember I guess it’s a bit like fight club yet I’m built up of a lot of people - everyone I no, and since I’ve been built up of people I been made in to a real ‘thing’ so don’t worry it doesn’t look like your talking to your self when your with me !

How I would love to be a superhero and my plan on this is If I’m the clearly best parts of people I need to befriend a superhero that’s not aware that they are one then I’ll get the powers I would so love to fly and shit !


I hate people who insist on telling me who the better superhero is when they’ve not even seen a good range of superhero movies and by a good range I mean –

All Batman movies (not begins because it’s not a real film!)
At lest the first 2 superman movies and returns
X-men 1-3
Spiderman 1-2
Fantastic 4
And other little movies I can’t think of!

I’m so bored I think I might make a poem up about man eating trees

There was once a big old tree
I always looked a bit wired to me
And In till it ate my little brother
And a few others
In didn’t no it was after me!

Oh my god I really like that! Why did I fail English? It’s brilliant
I really want to send my poem to some one but there’s no one online that will like/understand it

Anyways I don’t think I’m going to be able to top the poem so I’m going to go bye bye bye bye bye you pikey mother fuckers!













Shoelace stealing mother fucker!

Oh my god after seeing my sister for the first time in ages she has to remind me if the fucking bitch who stole my fucking shoelaces out of my fucking bright green GHOSTBUSTER WELLIES!!!

Right I'm still so up set about this and I think this links to lots oh my fucking pikey issues my fucking play-school teacher stole my mother fucking shoelaces write if my mother ever asked I still don't remember because if she finds out it's my fault I won't be able to complain but there I as all young a shit and we were sat in out little group meeting before we went off to lessons (just to tell you I went to a very good play-school cost a lot I guess they were trying to give me a head start in life and look where it got me a imagination that can't be controlled) anyways before lesson we were having our morning talk and me being me wasn't listening and started to get put off by these bright green wellies and as you might of guessed me playing with my super call bright green Ghostbusters wellies but the other kids off (more like they were crying on the inside that they didn't have them) anyways with out a word of a warning she storms over to me and rips the wellies from beneath me and tears the laces from the and puts them in the bin right next to me and told me to sit down so I had to spend the rest of her shit talking looking at what once was me and my wellies un-stoppable against the world so after the talk and everyone got up I started crying and by the time they managed to control my hurt from being torn from my only friend my class had gone upstairs and I then taking me up the stairs to my class she forced me to join the blue door class downstairs in which I spent the whole day playing connect 4 with a……………………………. ginger child
I no I no you must feel some pain for me it was so hard.

Anyways I don't really thing I can top that so talk soon!

Oh year and by the way this made be based on a true story but I think you'll no what's not










Bunnies, Egg’s And Lemonade

Well I’ve just eat my way through 6 cream eggs and a lint bunny so I’m at a mix between ready to pass out, and very hyper

Anyways I’m now up for bring back Thomas the tank but the after 9 version where it’s a story about Percy’s efforts to tell the yard that he’s gay but all the time Gordon’s been pushing that female prostitute train on him so after Percy tells every one Gordon tells Thomas and Thomas gets hold of Percy and beats him shitless for a fiver anyways he’s beaten for wasting all Gordon money and not because he’s gay that’s just to un-pc and for the added affect of not being to un-pc we’re going to have to have to black family of trains that goes through all the ‘troubles’ black people go though on a daily bases but also I forgot to say at this point Thomas is also a young teenage father for 4 but each child has a different mother

Thomas is a slut

See is it just the best thing ever after hours children show but now a days you don’t really need it there’s just so much under lying weirdness in children’s shows

I love cloudy lemonade it’s so nice but what I don’t know is what makes it cloudy and why when it is cloudy it tasted so much better

The Dark Knight – Code Name ‘Batman Begins 2’ – Code Name A Remake Of The First One!

How could they do this - yes maybe I’ve said this before but you have no idea How pissed I am at the film industry a remake of the brilliant batman the first film made by the supreme Tim Burton

And guess what using the IMDB plot outline: (Batman and Gordon find alliance with a newly appointed DA Harvey Dent to stop a vicious killer with a warped sense of humour known only as The Joker, a threat to both the good, and the evil of Gotham City.)


Anyway there clearly not just going to re-make the first one and leave the legacy as it was no because using my above normal batman knowledge Harvey dent is also 2 face which is clearly going to lead them to re-making batman forever but if the ever dare touch batman returns I will be boycotting not only that film anything with any of the actors in it anything done by the director and if it goes bad I will then boycott anything made by the studio why do that to batman he is the best superhero why can’t they just leave it alone and just try making better already shit heroes like superman or Spiderman or the hulk – what was that it was so bad and not even so bad it was good It was so bad it went:

Good – bad – so bad it’s good – so bad it can’t even be good – and yes even beyond that to join films like Casio royale and shit like that!!!!

Anyways I’m bored and the sugar rush has gone talk soon




Chocolate spread and pizza at noon

Well I finely think that I’ve gotten back in to the flow of writing and I’ve missed it so much! Have you missed me my minions?,

Well after Asda’s FREAK!! DVD sale I just had to go all out and buy TRON after the
Mullet told me about it anyways there’s never been such a perfect example of so shit it Brilliant it’s just to bad for word but for some wired reason you feel compelled to watch it over and over again and I think I may replace star wars 2 as my drunk movie – drunk movie you may ask – you no what I’m about you no when you get so drunk it takes you 20 minutes just to get up the stairs and then after spending 40 minutes trying to use the dog to turn on the TV you find the most random film ever - star wars 2 but seeing as the tron rule when your sober think about what it would do if your pissed all that light colours and trippy animation ! it would be like taking a tour of my head.

I think that the fray ‘how to save a life’ is a drunk song, but my lovely hobbit of a sister begs to differ – yes Chelsea dagger is a drunk song but that’s a good drunk song the fray is clearly a song for when you throw up on your shoes and you really like these shoes then you spend 20 minutes crying because you really liked theses shoes and no matter how drunk you are your going to go home and argue with the washing machine because that’s just how much you like these shoes – no just me……. Ok.

Oh my god I nearly forgot I also brought STREET FIGHTER the film brilliance it’s also so bad its good and Kylie Minogue acting should be left to the imagination.

GOD I HATE MIKA! And his stupid catchy beats it’s like moldy food you no you should have it but you still for some unexplainable reason you need to have it! I hate him!

BDSM!!!!!!! Rangers ha, I love it when no ones knows! Bondage, Dominions, Satan’s Merkin! Merkins in the dictionary!

I really love Tron! I can’t stop thinking about it!

I really loved my shoes that I throw up on! I miss them so much!

Free Apple Pie! There’s nothing better then free apple pie well all pie is good if it’s free but I think apple would be the best pie to get free!

Well I’m going to eat some ice cream by!